


Sneak Attack!!

by AstoriaIsALoser



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Killing Game (Dangan Ronpa), M/M, Why Did I Write This?, i can't write, my teachers would be disappointed in me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:20:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23148409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AstoriaIsALoser/pseuds/AstoriaIsALoser
Summary: It wasn't meant to be a challenge when Gundham mentioned his poisonous skin. Unfortunately for him, Kazuichi is stupid, jealous, and without a will to live.
Relationships: Soda Kazuichi/Tanaka Gundham
Comments: 4
Kudos: 220





	Sneak Attack!!

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this to make up for me and my friend's sans x nagito fanfic that ended up under the soudam tag. I am so sorry.  
> Also, if you're the one person I know in real life who knows my AO3 account, please don't read this. I was peer pressured into writing it.   
> And I didn't proof read :)

"My apologies for pushing you last night," Gundham has said to Sonia that morning during breakfast, "I am cursed to have poisonous skin, and I did not wish to hurt you."

"It's alright, I probably should have asked your permission beforehand anyway," Sonia had replied. 

Kazuichi didn't like their interactions, and never hesitated to express it. This particular day, it was Hajime's fault for suggesting they sit at the table behind Gundham and Sonia. Hinata hadn't even noticed they were there, but it was too late now.

"Miss Sonia doesn't actually believe that bullshit, does she? God, what does she see in him." Came Kazuichi's inevitable whining.

The ultimate breeder had looked up, meeting the way-too-loud-for-his-own-good mechanic with a calm expression. "That is no lie. From birth only a few powerful individuals have been able to make contact with my toxic flesh."

Kazuichi wasn't buying it. "As if! I bet if i were to touch you, I'd end up perfectly fine."

"Please do not attempt it. We may not see eye to eye, but I still do not want to bring harm to your mortal body."

"Is that a challenge?"

"No, it is not. Do not take it as one."

\-----

Kazuichi did, in fact, take it as challenge. Gundham was on high alert for the rest of the week, dodging Kazuichi and occasionally having to grab him and hold his down with his bandaged arm. Sonia was thankful for this, because the mechanic had stopped harassing her completely in order to focus on terrorizing Gundham. It was nice to have a break.

Kazuichi had failed many times before, but this time, he was gonna get him. He had gotten close the other day, but Hiyoko's teasing had ratted him out. Now, Kazuichi had the upper hand.

He had been on his way to give Hajime a device he'd asked for, when he saw Gundham on his way back to his cabin. The breeder seemed like he was lost in thought, and didn't noticed the sharp-toothed ultimate trailing behind him. There was no way Kazuichi was passing up this opportunity.

Without another thought, he went sprinting forward. His shoes were loud on the wood path, but Kazuichi was fast enough for it to not matter. By the time Gundham had turned around to face Kazuichi, he had already jumped at him, and nearly tackled him in a hug.

"You fool!" Gundham yelled, trying to grab a hold of Kazuichi and stop their incoming fall. However, this didn't work, and the breeder only ended up holding Kazuichi down against his body as they both fell to the ground. 

"Ha! I told you so! You touched me and I'm not dead!"

"Yes, that is rather... Unusual. However, between your appearance and this newfound information, I'm not sure i believe you're human. An incubus, perhaps?"

Kazuichi stared at him. "What's that?"

"Nevermind that, just please remove yourself from me so that i may get back on my feet.."

...Kazuichi hadn't noticed that. He knew that they had fallen, but not that he had landed on top of Gundham and in his excitement had sat up on Gundham's stomach. Now that he knew, he couldn't stop himself from examining the way Gundham hid his reddening face with his scarf. Okay, maybe he could see why sonia liked him so much...

...NO HE DIDN'T! Kazuichi jumped up, nearly tripping over Gundham and falling back again. What was he thinking? Maybe this dude really was poisonous. Yes, that was it.

"GAYYYYYYYYY!" Hiyoko yelled, causing the mechanic to jump. Had she been watching the whole thing?

"I'm not gay!" Kazuichi retorted, not even daring to acknowledge the fact that the blonde gremlin was holding Koizumi's camera in her hand.

"Oh please, no straight man obsesses over touching another guy!"

Gundham wasn't poison, but at this point, Kazuichi wishes he was so that he could just curl up and die. He was never going to live this down.

**Author's Note:**

> This is so terrible, I have no idea how to write any of the characters, but I'm posting it anyways because I hate myself.


End file.
